That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
