Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
