WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
