She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize