Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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