Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
