This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
