3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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