Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize