So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
