I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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