Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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