the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize