guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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