the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize