Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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