It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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