Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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