Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Randomize
