just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
