you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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