you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
