I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize