hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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