wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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