Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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