Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
