You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
