real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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