Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
