i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize