She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
