Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
