Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize