I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
