She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
