What did we do last night that was yellow?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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