I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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