Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
