Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
