id be glad to
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
