Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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