If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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