New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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