Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
