Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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