its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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