ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
