Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
