yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
