that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
