It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
