I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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