Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
