Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
