I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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