that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize