Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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