My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Randomize
