I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
