so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
