How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
