I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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