so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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