Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
