he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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