Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am full of burrito and curiosity
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
