you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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