Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
