we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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