Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
