my mouth tastes like poor choices
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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