Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
