...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize